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REGION TWO
If you think that a Canyon swing is just a couple of seconds of fear, you are wrong. Firstly, you have to meet Crispy or some other crazy guy who will take you in his four by four to the Shotover river. In the car you will meet some other people who are going there with the sole aim to throw themselves of the construction into the depths of the Canyon, some 60 metres down. Despite the fact that all the other jumpers or swingers (doesn't sound completely right does it) were guys, Richard refused to take the part in the procedure.
My personal challenge was to trust that Crispy had connected me to something before I would let myself go. Before the jump we were weighed and we all had pretty pictures drawn on our left hands. Mine showed a little person jumping and the river full of blood and guts. As the name of the psycho-artist who performed it was Crispy.. well, you too probably would have a problem with trusting him.
I think he was really well fitted for his job and he looked like he was enjoying himself so assuming he wouldn't want to lose the job, I decided to jump. It was easy to say; more difficult to do. Despite being in my little harness, to throw yourself from a great height is somewhat against the laws of nature. It was bad, It was so scary that I …did it again. There are various ways in which you can throw yourself of the cliff, you see.
I did the pin drop first - stand on the very edge of the floor, look down, put your hands behind you, make one small step forward and drop down. It was 5 pants on the scale (pant is the level of scariness and 5 is maximum). For the first fraction of a second you think what have I done and then you think yippee as soon as you stop falling and start swinging across the canyon. Then you think I don't really want to come back once you hang above the turquoise waters completely and utterly relaxed, you don't want it to finish. Then, when you are being pulled back you think oops as you realize that it didn't exactly finish and you get an additional little bit of adrenaline as you look up and see, now in close up, how high it is, and the big hanging rocks get even bigger when you approach them without any way of steering. You think - did I really do it willingly.
As I was told "you may as well do two", I did the second jump in "Elvis cutaway" (five panties) style. This means you have to hang down the rope with your head facing upwards, legs crossed around the rope, leaning backwards, then start falling upside down with canyon walls flying past your head till you sit back upright at the bottom.
It's orgasmic. The whole experience was great, the guys from the Canyon swing including psycho Crispy made sure everyone had a maximum of fun. All in all I think even Richard enjoyed it because they took care of everyone, even if they just stood by the window.
Contact Details: Website www.canyonswing.co.nz; email: info@canyonswing.co.nz Tel:0064 (0)3 442 6990 or from within New Zealand 0800 279464
SKYLINE GONDOLA and LUGE - QUEENSTOWN
A ride in a gondola is one of the most relaxing things I can think of. My father used to tell me never to end a sentence with a preposition, which I have just done. But never mind, you climb aboard your gondola and then slowly move around in some of the most exciting scenery in the world. But that's in Venice. In Queenstown things are a little different. My father didn't like heights and while I may not have inherited his strict use of the English language, I have inherited his fear of being any distance above the ground. The Skyline Gondola in Queenstown goes up 450 metres. In my language, that's a height. You can look out the window and see the town getting smaller below you. Conversely, you can face forwards and watch the rock face looking quite large most of the time.
The gondola takes you up Bob's Peak and on the way down I had my own peak to see how close we were to the bottom. We were told that the ride took about three minutes and I waited until we had been descending for a couple of minutes but it is still a long way down although I will admit quite a breathtaking view. Once at the top you can dine in the Skyline Restaurant (see eat away), have a snack in the cafe or browse in the gift shop. Or maybe you can just sit back and take in the views.
Or, you can climb up a bit further and then come down on the luge. Now apparently this is far more dangerous than bungy jumping but you are in control and it's a little bit of a test of skill and involves speed. I was hooked. On run one I was waiting for Ev but somehow, going downhill on the three-wheeled luge, she managed to stop and couldn't get started again. So I left her, stuck on the luge as it were. Flushed with my success, I went again. It was great and I even forgot to look down at Queenstown. By the way you can either climb up to the luge or go on a chair lift. I can report the climb is very pleasant, thank you.
Contact Details: Website www.skyline.co.nz; email: Tel:0064 (0)3 441 0101
When we arrived in Franz Josef and met Marcel, the host of Glenfern Villas, he asked us if we would be able to stay an extra night so we could try out a quad bike ride he had recently opened. We said yes because we are such nice people and we weren't disappointed. In fact asking us to do it probably makes Marcel an even nicer person. First we met up with Hollie, who was to be our guide. Then went over to see the bikes and get kitted out. They give you boots, jacket, over trousers (we discovered why later) and a helmet. You can also have gloves and a balaclava, under the helmet of course, but Mr Tough-guy didn't need these. Having just re-read this the gloves were for the hands not under the helmet, unless you got your hands stuck in your helmet when you were putting it on. But if you did you couldn't drive the quad bike so you wouldn't need the gloves.
Ev decided that she was not too sure about driving one of these, they are pretty big and two seaters, so she said she felt happy being on the back of mine. Silly girl. Anyhow we set off, across the dry riverbed following a route laid out by Hollie some time ago, I think. The whole trip was a fantastic experience and after a few early shouts in my ear of slow down a bit, we were limited by speed anyway, Ev was remarkably quiet. In fact so quiet that at one stage I thought she might have fallen off. After the drive down the riverbed, we powered through some muddy bits (see why we had over trousers now) and then, incredibly, we went into a rain forest. We had to go a lot slower here because sliding wide on a riverbed is less serious that smashing into a tree.
At various points along the way we stopped and Hollie explained something but it was in the forest that we found out most. She showed us the punga tree and another one that tastes of pepper. Hollie really knew her stuff and could explain many things and not just give you the crap some tour guides do. That reminds me she also told us about the plant called Bushman's Friend, I think, the leaves of which you can use instead of toilet paper.
When we came out of the forest and back to the riverbed, Ev decided to drive for a bit and I sat quietly note on the back. Then we swapped back and sped back to the garage. It was a really good experience and thanks to Marcel and Hollie for making it happen.
Contact Details: Website www.acrosscountryquadbikes.co.nz; email: info@acrosscountryquadbikes.co.nz Tel:0064 (0)3 752 0123 or, within New Zealand 0800 234 288
